Get Off My Lawn

You’re on a bike. Go you. Please get out of the damn road.

I’m not sure how riding a bike means you get to behave like a moron. I’m down with sharing the road, but I’m not down with you riding so erratically that I’m forced to go SLOWER than you just to prevent an accident. And if you’re a kid? When you see my car, get out of my damn parking space. It’s like kids see a car and have to stare blankly until some external stimulus (usually my horn or a look that says “Uh, what the hell are you doing?”) breaks their trance.

Get off my lawn.

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This is a new segment I’m starting because I, at the ripe old age of 22, find myself getting angry with people who are younger than me. I’m much too young to be waving a cane at youngsters, so I figure a blog post here and there keeps up with my generation’s stereotype of being the computer generation while also allowing me to ramble on like an old coot.

Today’s rambling is about middle school skanks. You parade around in your short shorts and tube tops like you’re going to work the corner after you get out of social studies class. The reality is, the boys you’re going to attract while dressed like this are the type that your parents warned you about when you were younger.

I was heading into work today when I saw a group of “America’s future leaders” standing on the corner of the development waiting for a bus (“bus”). Some of them stood there with that sassy pose that middle school girls do when they think they’re hot, and I had to chuckle a little. Why would you go through all of the effort to make yourself look “hot” and then wear a backpack? Seriously, do you honestly think that your backpack is the right accessory for your ensemble? But wait, that’s not even the worst part. Since it was muddy outside, they were wearing tennis shoes and holding their high heels. Oh honey, those jumps are FRESH.

What parents allow their children to do this? Parents: smack your kids. The long term benefits of an open palmed slap across the mouth after a bout of sass far outweigh the short term problems (i.e. CPS).

Get off my lawn.

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